Dear Friends,
In the last post I talked about seeking and the perils of getting lost in it. Seeking can be a trap because "Seek and do not find" is the workout regimen of the ego. On the other hand, Seeking is not bad. Without some of it we would simply languish in disease (no fun for sure). But a question that we forget to ask is: "What are we seeking?"
Mostly we seek for some 'better' future outcome or some relief from the discomfort of the present moment. If we think about it, we see that our seeking is just rooting around in the past for some solace. This is because the future is just the past in drag. What if we sought the Truth? The Truth that does not come nor go. The Truth that does not hide itself. The Truth that just IS ... right here right now.
What are you seeking? What would happen if you found it? How is it different from what's appearing right here right now? An even deeper question is: "Who's doing the seeking". Who are you?
bob
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Before I would have said "I seek anything outside myself to make me feel better about me". I would want a better job, better car, FASTER MOTORCYCLE FOR SURE, a better home, and then I would be at peace, be a better person...After the question apeared "who would seek these things"' one by one they feel away. But I still sought a utopic place in the spitural plain to make me feel "happy, at peace, on with all, total love..." You ask me to go deeper and take each of those thoughts and ask the question who would "want" anything.
ReplyDeleteThen I knew and learned to trust. I am. It does need me to know, or understand "it" is. All. After that, there is nothing but experience. I am no more the brokenness than the euphoric. If I haul ass on my sport bike and get a ticket I feel fustrated, why would they make such badass bikes if we can't ride them! And I dont't try to control that experience...it just rises and falls like the wind across the trees, no judgement, just the wind. Now if I don't want to spend my hard earned money on the ticket, DON'T SPEED, but some times I want to feel the earth fly under me like I am a bullet...
I think what I am trying to say is I spent all long time sitting in judgement of myself. I sought spiritual superority. If I could only seek and maintain my oneness I would be loved. I don't seek anymore. I know there is no one to seek and no one to find. Now I can enjoy life just being. I do make better choices today, and life is a lot less tragic...but I do speed now and then!
I wonder where seeking to have control of (or at least not be beholden to) ones emotional / spiritual life falls in this? If I am a total emotional / spiritual train wreck having gotten there by seeking only deep true love/peace/joy - these will be found by not seeking them? Stop seeking peace and no more train wrecks? – thus finding peace?
ReplyDeleteThe whole struggle to gain happiness or find truth is predicated on the belief that there is a special YOU to be happy (or sad) or to discover some truth (or not). Before launching on some giant spiritual quest, find out if there is anyone reading these words right now.
ReplyDeleteYou know, if there were some formula for happiness or some immutable truth out there, someone surely would have shared it with you by now. As they say, "something is rotten in Denmark". I'm suggesting a deeper peek into the whole matter.
When it's seen that nobody is reading this, it will be clear that the whole idea of truth or happiness is silly. There is only reading happening ... no YOU. Wow! How simple; what a miracle!
bob
Hi Bob,
ReplyDeleteI thought I posted something yesterday but it's not there now so I must have messed something up. Rather than try and recreate yesterday's comment, I will go ahead and post my thoughts on your last one. I am trying to grasp this concept but I just don't get it. Maybe I am over-analyzing things but if there is no you or me, then what is there? Also, if there is no truth, then would that mean there is no lie either? The bible has the word truth in it a lot. Maybe there is something about the translation that has a different meaning, but Jesus says,"I tell you the truth" a lot.
Yes, Karl the Bible does point to Truth but not a truth that is "out there". The truth, as I read the Bible, is Oneness, the Wholeness that Jesus prays for in John 17 (numerous references to Unity) for us, for himself, and for his disciples.).
ReplyDeleteWhen I state that there is no special YOU I am pointing to the fact that God alone is. The problem is that we imagine otherwise. My absence is His presence. This is why I suggest sitting in Silence ... when we do that our imagined separation from what IS right here right now disappears and only the Divine remains.
Thanks for your post Karl ... bob
Bob has been talking to me about this idea ‘Who is it that…’ for years. At first it was a total non-starter. Eventually I had a couple moments where it actually rang true for me on a non-intellectual / heart knowledge kind of level, but even then that knowledge would fade so easily (sometimes the more I sought it).
ReplyDeleteNow it seems that this knowledge/ wisdom / peace is slightly more accessible in conjunction with an exhale and a conscious effort to let go of my given situation and also even let go of the ‘me’ that is in the situation. I write this down to confirm that the exhale part of it seems to ground that this is heart/soul/spirit knowledge and not intellect, and grounded much differently.
Am I on track? Make sense?
My friend and I have made a game out of the process and we have a blast playing.
ReplyDeleteThe "card game" came one day when I was riding bikes with Bob and told him what came up for me was "not pretty enough". He said we all have those cards dealt to us by our life experience. So became the "deck of cards".
We are born in the oneness and over time we aquire and beleive to be true ideas about ourselves that we identify as "ME". The card range from all sorts of messages we get about ourselves and the world around us. As we claim the cards over time we become ingrossed in them as who we are. We continue to play the "Abandonment card" when a boyfriend/girlfriend breaks up with us or does not call in time. We play the "anger card" when we don't get our way.
The process of asking yourself the question "Who are the cards" is really just a half step to the truth. As we see ourselves as "Not the Anger Card" and "Not the Abandonment Card" we become the witness of the game. As we sit in silence and study each card with the goal of finding out who is this or that, whatever is coming up for you in meditation.
Then the question is "Who would be studing the cards", Who is the master of the game,Who is determining which card is played,and who we choose to play the game with? The witness is smashed and the laughter is deep. Silly! As Bob puts it.
So We are not the cards, or the master player...but the Whole of the game, and beyond. I don't spend anytime thinking about what is. It is, it does not need me to understand it, that is a dog chasing the tail.
So my friend and I say it is like each of us bellies up to the card table we call life with a entire deck of cards. In the beging before I understood the rules it was crazy, someone threw down the "I don't like your card" and I freaked and slamed down all my "anger, saddness, I'm not worthy card" only to see I was losing. Now I know the game. If some one plays the card. Well, I know that is just how they know to play the game. It is not them or me. Just a jumbled attempt at easing some internal pain they are trying to avoid. Not them, Not me. I have so many cards not I never knew I had. And I am very careful which cards I play and whom I play with. But no matter how intence the game may become I never forget Who I Really Am! I never fall into the trap that the game is who I am.
The key is to always know I am not the cards, not the player.
And then I realized there is no one reading the blog, and the laughter is deep!!